June 2022 Newsletter

“Focus on the Good!” – This directive was literally in my face, as it appeared on the lid of my breakfast yogurt this morning! It’s a good message, in spite of the fact that it was an advertisement! 

I sometimes look around and wonder, “Where has the time gone?” I blinked, and six months have flown by since I last wrote a newsletter! Time just seems to move too fast! Maybe because we’re all getting older, or maybe we’ve become just too busy in our 21st Century American culture. – And I don’t know about you, but when I add to the overly busy lives we lead, the wildly crazy time that our country has dealt with because of the pandemic – and lockdown – and mandatory masking – and decisions about vaccinations – and boosters – and COVID tests – and school closures – and businesses shutting down – and through it all, we can and NEED TO focus on the good! 

Well – from my vantage point, it often felt like I was in some strange sort of time-warp! I would guess that many of you had similar feelings of being confused, distracted, concerned and even experienced just a bit of hopelessness as we waited for something to change and for a return to “normal” and the “familiar.” 

As I look over the past two and a half years of the pandemic challenges, I can’t help but wonder something else: How can anyone who dealt with all these struggles have any doubt about the love of God Who so graciously and victoriously brought us through all of that? Now, having said that, I must acknowledge that I am aware that many people contracted COVID and many people died and many people lost their loved ones. Many people lost their source of income. Many people lost their sense of security and hope. Many people continue to struggle with the aftermath of the pandemic. 

There are many times in His Word, that God speaks to us of the importance of maintaining hope in His loving provisions to us. In preparing to write this newsletter, I did a word search on my electronic Bible for the word “Hope” – and I found no less that 144 passages in God’s Word that speak to us about the joy and necessity of always having hope – even in the most desperate of circumstances. 

Many of the passages that resulted from my search would have been well-suited to endorse the message of hope in this article. Yet, there is one that continues to be a strong message of hope for the work God has called us to in this counseling ministry. It is the one we chose as a guiding principle for the name of this ministry – that is Jeremiah 29:11, which says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” 

It seems that God has given us to one another to love, to pray for one another, to encourage and to point one another to Him in our times of struggle and uncertainty. Our calling – in other words – the work God is busy with and has called us to join Him in, is to inspire one another to Hope as He provides for us and equips us with all we need to have the fullness and joy He has planned for us since the beginning of time.

If you find yourself wondering where time has gone – or is going – ask yourself: Are you making the most of the time, gifts and talents God has given you? Are you seeking His face for guidance and direction of how you may join Him in the work He is up to –  right in your community – your family – your life?  

Friends, we are blessed beyond measure – in whatever circumstances we may find ourselves! Why? - Because the love and hope of God is ALWAYS with us!

We pray that you will hold onto the hope that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord, as you acknowledge His presence with you always. . .And focus on the Good He gives us – always!

Love, hope and peace,   

Rev. Dr. Pat Ryan 

(On behalf of the AFAH Counseling Ministry Team)

December 2021 Newsletter

Whew! What a BUSY time of the Year! – How has your celebration of Christmas and preparations for the New Year gone so far? Mine and my family’s was busy and full!  - With my son, a Houston Firefighter and my daughter-in-law a police officer for the City of Waller, both working on Christmas, we had the grandkids over to celebrate with us, along with my daughter and her husband and kids – Great fun! Then on December 26th, we did the whole thing all over again – Double Great Fun!!. . .Add to that the Christmas Eve service we always do at Windwood and me preaching the day after Christmas, and life was full, to say the least! – And I am not complaining. Rather, I am rejoicing for the blessings of family and the joy of being able to share those celebrations with those people God has placed in my life with whom I can give and receive love – especially during this time of the year!

I hope that Christmas for you was also a joyful time of receiving all the blessings of love, hope, peace and joy that God has intended for His children since the beginning of time! . . . And pray that your New Year is also filled with many blessings.

Speaking of Blessings, have you ever stopped to consider what a blessing is? I mean, we talk about blessings all the time. We are reminded to ‘count our blessings,’ to remember the ‘One from Whom all blessings flow’ and to be grateful for all our blessings. But, I wonder, do we really know what a blessing is? Do we receive and notice the blessings in our lives? If you’re like most of us, the answer to this is ‘not usually.’ Now, that doesn’t mean that we’re bad people. It means that life can – and does – get so busy that we sometimes simply do not notice. It is for this reason, that I think it is important that we work towards intentionally building a habit of noticing; noticing not just the many blessings of our lives, but also noticing the source of these blessings.

It also seems important to begin to make noticing those things that give us joy, because they are the blessings of this life. It can often be the ‘little things’ of this life that can go unnoticed – those things that cause us to giggle, or smile, or have that warm feeling of peace and comfort – warmth and safety, loved and being connected; those things that just ‘feel good’ for no obvious reason. Those are blessings, just as sure as the big and remarkable events of this life! All of these are evidence of a loving God, as He is the source of everything good, loving, beautiful, holy, joyful, peaceful and glorious about this life.    

In an online dictionary, the word ‘blessing’ is defined as “God’s favor and protection; grace said before or after a meal; a beneficial event for which one is grateful; something that brings well-being; a person’s sanction or support.”  So, the question becomes, do we see those blessings in our lives – the big obvious ones along with the little, almost indiscernible ones?

As we have come to that time of the year where we are now looking in the rear-view-mirror of 2021, it is our prayer that you will make and take the time in 2022 to understand the need of noticing, accepting and being grateful for the blessings – big and small – that you have already received throughout the year 2021. The reason this is important is simple; because not noticing the blessings all around us can mean that we will miss out on the love, smiles, giggles, warmth, peace, comfort, safety, connection, goodness, beauty, holiness, joy and glory that God desires to give us – His blessings for His people.

Most of us make New Year’s Resolutions as we face a new year in the hopes of being better people, correcting our shortcomings, making new habits, breaking old bad habits and being a better version of ourselves. These are, without argument, noble goals. As you consider taking part in this customary tradition for beginning your New Year, we hope that you will also incorporate the habit of noticing the blessings of your life, and more importantly, gratefully noticing the Giver of all our blessings. . .And have a VERY blessed NEW YEAR!

In His love and by His grace,

Rev. Dr. Pat Ryan

On behalf of the A Future and a Hope Counseling Ministry Team

November 2021 Newsletter

Well, it’s that time of year! . . .No! -- I’m not talking about the holiday season. I’m talking about the season of community and connection. Come on! — Don’t you also feel that we have been separated and isolated for way too long?

I realize that things are slowly moving in a more ‘normal’ direction in some parts of our country (Houston Texas, for example), but sadly many areas of our country continue to live in some extreme conditions for the purpose of “safety and protection.”

Now, I don’t mean to come across as judgmental – and I am not taking a political stand on these issues. I understand that there are powers in charge in some areas of our country that, for perhaps valid reasons, have mandated rules and restrictions of how we are to relate to one another. I do, however, question some of the motives and focus. Do you also ask yourself, why are we putting so much emphasis on extreme measures to protect our health – even sacrificing our opportunities to connect and relate to one another? Hasn’t it always been God’s plan that we love and connect in our covenant relationships with our God and each other?  

In the Book of Mark, we are given a reminder of God’s perspective on the issue of man-made laws over His intent for His people as it refers to our relationship and interactions with one another. It says “And he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is lord even of the Sabbath.” (Mark 2:27-28 ESV)

The point here is that it seems that our focus may be somewhat misdirected and may possibly be interfering with God’s design for our relationships.

Friends, we seem to have forgotten how to relate and interact with one another in the blessing of covenant connection vs. the Laws, rules and restrictions that we now live by. Certainly, both are important. The issue is in putting these in an order that honors God’s plans for us.

As counselors, we are seeing the fallout of some of the problems that are caused by this dilemma day after day - in all ages and stages of falling short in our efforts of living together and loving one another.

The question before us, I believe, is are we missing the mark? Are we errant in our focus of what’s most important – what God’s plan and desire for His people is and has always been? Taking care of ourselves and protecting our health and the health of our loved ones is a noble goal. There is no argument about that. We have learned many important lessons during the pandemic. Some of those lessons include taking responsibility for our own good health and not taking it for granted, placing greater value on the gift of the Body of Christ and all the ways that these covenant connections bless us, adding meaning, purpose and richness to our lives.

As we enter this year’s holiday season, it is our prayer for each of you that you do, indeed, take good care of your health and the heath of your loved ones – and that you measure and balance that goal against the goal of enjoying the blessings of those special people God has given you to help you celebrate the joy of this season.

We wish you a Blessed and Happy Thanksgiving as you give God the glory for the many joys of your life and the season!

In His love and by His grace,

Rev. Dr. Pat Ryan

On behalf of the A Future and a Hope Counseling Ministry Team

March 2021 Newsletter

So, how are you doing with adjusting to the new ways that we are having to live life these days? – Some of the changes are tolerable – some are very challenging – and some are causing us - forcing us - to learn new things.

Now, I will be the first to say that God calls us to be life-long learners. Every opportunity to learn a new skill or lesson is an opportunity be better, wiser, more skilled, and to be able to use more of the intellectual blessings God has given to each of us. It stretches us. It provides experiences that help us to mature and grow.         

The counselors on our team meet monthly and part of that meeting includes a period of ‘Peer Review’ where we share some of the challenges and victories we have in our interaction with clients – (of course, we never use their names in order to protect their privacy). Our opportunity to share in this way helps us to learn from one another – what went well and what did not go well. In other words, what works and what doesn’t work – all in an effort to learn and serve our clients better.

Most likely because the counselors make it a practice to share with one another – and that we are all educated, trained and experienced in our work – when we experience struggles in our personal lives, we often go to one another for counsel and to share our challenges. One of my trusted confidants, when I share a challenge, will almost always ask me. “What is God trying to teach you through this challenge – and what is the work that He has set before you?” Now, while these questions may cause a bit of angst for me – I have to acknowledge that his questions are important and appropriate.

In the Book of Proverbs, chapter 27, verse 17, we are reminded that, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” The wisdom behind this passage is pretty obvious.  Whether it’s quoted as biblical wisdom or not – it is almost always used with the imperative: wise people should be questioning, encouraging, coaching, and challenging each other. But just why does it matter – and how do we do that?

Well, it does matter - and my friend is correct and wise to ask those questions. It truly does matter that we would respond in obedience to God’s commands as Christ followers. God has given us to one another in the Body of Christ as a special gift – to encourage and to strengthen as we to point one another to and remind one another of the love of God, that we may all strive to be all that He created us to be.

And, how do we do that? How do we keep ourselves strong and courageous – sharp and focused – so that we can help those around us to be sharpened also, the way that God has intended for us all? Here is a simple guideline to help get us started. It is, by no means exhaustive, and there are many concepts that can be expanded upon in this simple outline - but it will, hopefully, provide some inspiration and give you the impetus to be very intentional as you interact with those God has placed in your life. We must. . .

1.      Show genuine care for people... ‘Genuine’ is the operative word here. People don’t care what you know unless they know that you care.

2.      Provide clear expectations...As we point others to God’s call to each one of us, clarity is always helpful and inspires innovative planning.

3.      Engage in regular honest conversations… Honesty, even if it is difficult, is essential to build trusting connections with others.

4.      Praise in public and correct in private… Respecting one’s dignity and need for praise enhances in others a sense of self-worth and self-confidence.

5.      Discover and develop people's strengths and passions…When strengths, passions and the needs of our community come together, we can be blessed to know that God is at work in and through us.

6.      Build genuine relationships…So that sharing flows naturally and honestly.

7.      Share the credit...Which ALWAYS includes God!

8.      Speak vision and possibility into people…And bless them as they are nurtured in the hope of God’s plans.

As you welcome the hope and beauty of new life that comes with the Spring season, our prayer is that you will notice where God is at work in the people around you – and make the choice to join Him! --- Have a blessed and hopeful Spring -- and a joyous Easter celebration!

February 2021 Newsletter

Okay! Okay! – I admit that I have been negligent about keeping up with the monthly newseltters for this ministry. In my defense, I thought about it several times – and even asked the people at Windwood who publish a copy of our newsletter, also. When I was told that they were suspending the monthly newsletter for a time, I thought it also gave me the  green light to suspend this newsletter! . . .And I don’t know about Windwood, but I blame the whole thing on the pandemic! – After all, anyone would agree that things are VERY different now – right? 

There is no question that the changes we have had to make in the ways that we ‘do’ life since the global pandemic has had a universal effect on ALL of us! It begs the question, “Will life ever return to normal? . . .And when it does, what will it look like?” It harkens back to that dismal day on September 11, 2001, when the world as we knew it, changed. Things since then have never quite been the same.  So, what does that mean for us today as we deal with this newest tragedy– and how now, shall we live? Are we to live in fear and hopelessness? Do we stop our journeys and halt life in a sense of needing to give up on our God-given goals and missions? I don’t think so!

In the Book of  2 Timothy 1:7, we are reminded, “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” It seems to me that God’s plan for His people is for facing our giants, overocming our fears as we live into the victoriuos Christian life that has always been His plan for us. Sounds good, right? – But how do we do that? 

I think that one of the first steps in adapting to a new way of living is to begin by an assessment of what exactly is so about our circumstances and how things have changed from the way they once were. From there, it requires an honest inventory of one’s capabilities as well as one’s limitations in dealing with our new normal. These first steps sound simple – and, in truth they are – They are simple. . . but not easy! In fact, we learn fear. I realize that sounds strange, but think about it for a moment: As we listen to news feeds, informed and uninformed people and mix these with our sense of the unknown, we are actually learning to be fearful. It makes sense, that if we learned fear, we can also un-learn fear, and have a sense of hope for the future to be restored. 

In the first step, we must face our fears honestly. For many of us dealing with the fallout of the pandemic, there is a fear of loss – loss of financial security, loss of good health,  a sense of not being needed and “essential” in our work and even a loss of relationships due to the mandated “social distancing.” This kind of fear can have a paralyzing effect on our ability to act. Fear leads to the “flight – or fight – or freeze” affect on us. None of these responses are God’s will for us. In the 2 Timothy passage we just looked at, God is encouraging us, through the words of the apostle Paul, as he was close to his own death, to remember what God has given us – a spirit of “power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 

It is in hearing and believing these words that we can begin the process of visualizing ourselves as unafraid and re-connect with our inner strength and ability to take action towards the restoration of hope for our futures. It is in the process of confronting our fears, moving towards our fears and dealing with the fears directly, that we are empowered to be able to practice acting “as if” we are not experiencing fear. we can then begin to employ the ‘Law of reversability’ that says that if one feels a certain way, one will act in a certain way that matches those feelings. It is important , then, to behave as if our hope is in the Lord and as we trust Him,  We then begin learning to be unafraid, hence reversing our feelings and actions towards our God-given strengths over our fears. 

In this time of uncertainty, we pray that you will be able to cling to God’s promises and provisions in what He has given us and be able to be strong and courageous. It is our prayer that as you trust God, you will experience true freedom and joy in His love for you. . . Blessings and peace,

May Newsletter 2020

May 2020

It’s May! – It is a time of renewal - of ourselves and of the beauty of nature that is all around us. It is a sweet reminder that the God of the universe is still in control of those areas of our lives that, especially now, can feel so out of our control. In truth, friends, there actually are – and have always been – only a few things in this life that we can control. Think about it: Can any of us control the behavior and actions of other adults? Can any of us control the forces of nature? Have any of us been able to halt the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic? The answer to these questions is NO!

The truth is, for the most part, we only have control of the ways that we hold and respond to the circumstances all around us. We only have control of our own behavior, our own thoughts, decisions and perceptions. So, where does that truth leave us? 

In the gospel of John, John gave an account of the love of Jesus, the Messiah, for His people and how important it is that we know the truth. In the Book of John, chapter 8, verses 31 and 32, it says, “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him,  “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.””

In this passage, the ‘truth’ being referred to is the truth of Jesus being sent by the Father, to redeem us and give to those who know and embrace the truth, the assurance of eternal life. That truth is the most important truth – and as Jesus told us, the truth will, indeed, set us free! 

As we all watch and wait for the world to return to “normal,” it is imperative that we abide in God’s Word of truth to us. It’s important because as we hold on to the truth of any circumstance, we are able to experience truth as peace and comfort. It is like the old saying we’ve all heard: “I can deal with reality – I just need to know what reality is.” Not knowing reality – another word for ‘truth’ – can cause worry, anxiety and fear. 

One of our counselors of A Future and a Hope Counseling Ministry and the Director of Counselor Education, Dr. Rich Cozart, recently said that, “Fear is actually a blessing when it’s rational fear. Rational fear keeps us safe and cautions us to avoid danger. Fear, however, can also get out of control and can then become irrational, which can lead to a depressive emotional decline, as one becomes a victim to their own fear of the unknown and sense of doom.” 

So, how does one accept reality, conquer fear and move on? Here are some suggestions that may be helpful:

• Accept yourself. Acceptance of self is the ability to unconditionally value all parts of who you are. 

• Acknowledge your reality – assess which are valid fears and which may be irrational fears. 

• Practice radical honesty. Telling the truth to yourself promotes a sense of control and peace. 

• Identify your part. What part of it can you change and what part is out of your control? 

• Admit your limitations – honestly approach the situation and determine the best response. 

• Don't let fear get in your way – instead move through the fear to pro-active behavior. 

• Count on your competencies – know that you are adequate to respond appropriately.

• Own your outcomes. Ownership inspires courage for dealing with future challenges. 

What these suggestions have in common is that they provide a positive perspective on how fear can actually help us – and how we can ‘hold’ it in a way that our truthful assessment of the situation can provide the best possible outcome.  

As children, we were all told that it’s always the best practice to be truthful. As it turns out, it seems that this was God’s idea first! – And, so, of course, it’s a good idea – because, the truth really will set us free! 

Be FREE, friends – and have a beautiful May, a happy Spring and a blessed Mother’s Day!

April 2019 Newsletter

April 2019

Anniversaries! – These are special markers of special occasions and milestones in our lives. In the journey God has had A Future and a Hope Counseling Ministry on since we first formed as a Texas nonprofit in 2016, April has become one of those months that holds a special marker for us!

In early April 2019, we were blessed to have been able to move the ministry into its new facility. This event in the life of our work to care of God’s people and partnership with Him to be used as instruments of His healing, has blessed us – and blessed the community we serve - more than words can say.

         That day of the move-in, 12 months ago, was filled with many people helping to accomplish many objectives to get things set up for us to continue seeing clients and to be fully operational once again - and we actually saw a few clients on move-in day! (That, by the way, was probably not the wisest choice we made that day!)

         Working side-by-side, as a team, it was clear that God was in the center of all our efforts. He always has been – and always will be! That assurance has sustained us through all the ups and downs of the day-to-day work we are called to do. Through it all, God has been faithful to lead us, guide us, and bless us and those who come, seeking His healing touch by the agency of the many He has called to serve Him as we serve His people. 

         It is in noticing where God is at work and joining Him in His work, that our lives and the ministries God has set before us, allow us to shine in His Light! . . .And shining the Light of God to the world is a calling to us all.

         God speaks to His people in Paul’s letter to the early church at Phillipi, telling them of the command that we are to shine the Light of God to all. In Philippians, Chapter 2:14–16 (ESV), it says, “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life. In this passage, God is calling His people to be encouraged to be humble servants, united in love and humility, as we follow Christs’s example. It is in our service to God and others, that we glorify God, as we shine His light.

            We are aware that many of you, also, are serving God and others in the ministry you have been called to – and we encourage you to celebrate your calling. Mark and observe those special anniversaries and share with others how God has blessed you to shine His light in the world around you.

Some special friends, who came out to celebrate the facility that God’s love and light built at the Ribbon Cutting of the new facility…

… And some of our friends from inside the facility that God’s love and light built for His work and His will to be done, taken on the same day we celebrated that Ribbon Cutting.

… And some of our friends from inside the facility that God’s love and light built for His work and His will to be done, taken on the same day we celebrated that Ribbon Cutting.

May you be blessed as you celebrate the joy of shining God’s light in your service to the world!

In His love and light,

March 2020 Newsletter

March 2020

It seems that March is one of those months of the calendar year that is somewhat mysterious in its origin. At one time, as far as the ancient Romans were concerned, March was considered the first month of the year. In that time, the ancient Roman calendar had ten months, and ended, as it does now, with the month of December, which gets its name from the Latin word “decem” which means ten. 

The name of the month of March comes from Martius, which was the name of the first month of the ancient Roman calendar, taken from the name of the Roman god of war, Mars, known as the guardian of agriculture and fertility. Historically March is the beginning of the season of warmth and new growth. . . This is all a somewhat interesting point of history as it relates to the modern calendars that we use day in and day out. 

As I consider the month of March as it relates to the liturgical calendar and the season of Lent, the book, The Land Between, by Jeff Manion comes to mind. In this book, Manion speaks of those times in our lives – and we all experience them – when we are transitioning from one life situation to another. In the Introduction, Manion says, 

“My prayer for you as you read this book is that God will visit you with grace in your season of transition. I pray that the barren landscape of trial will become the fertile soil for new growth. May our gracious God revive your spirit and restore your laughter. May you find him in your pain and trust him in your waiting. May the One who redeems all things meet you powerfully as you journey through the Land Between.”

During the season of Lent, we are called to be in a posture of preparation and reflection of the observance of the transitional time in our salvation history leading up to the most significant event in all of human history – the event that marks the fulfillment of the covenant of our salvation through the atoning death of Jesus Christ. It is a time to focus on the amazing blessing this represents for us and to take a close and honest look at our lives as we measure the cost Jesus paid and our sense of worthiness to receive this blessing. 

In truth, we are NOT worthy, except for the Lord’s declaration that we ARE – by His grace and mercy – and ONLY by those characteristics of our God! It is not because of anything we can do, have done, and haven’t done. It is the unmerited favor of a God Who is love – a 

God of grace – a God Who loves us so much that, as we ae told in Romans 5:6–8, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Lent is that “Land Between” for us to spend the time needed to make some important paradigm shifts in our priorities of this life. It is a time to connect in a very intentional, very focused way to the God Who loves us that much – that He would love us with all that He is and with a self-sacrificing love that is beyond anything we can even hope to comprehend with our human mental and emotional limitations. Lent is a time to embrace our faith to the degree that we can allow this fact of God’s love to penetrate our awareness. To say that letting this reality in is a humbling experience still does not even begin to express the absolute miracle of God’s love for us. 

Our time in the “Land Between” during the Lenten season also includes the culmination of the fulfillment of the covenant promise of Easter morning. It is in this covenant promise that we experience hope and peace beyond anything we could ever ask or imagine. 

Windwood Church, over the past weeks of the sermon series “Habits of the Heart: Learning to Love Christ-Centered Lives,” has very intentionally focused us on those habits that define us, giving us a tangible way to make adjustments, where necessary, and put God in His place – right at the center of our lives!

As you prepare your heart and your life to receive the gift and blessing of the truth of our salvation, we would encourage you to intentionally search out for whatever means will be most effective in supporting your time of transition to that place the God of Love desires for you – a place of new growth and the blessed opportunity to receive the peace and joy of your salvation. . .And have a GLORIOUS Easter celebration of the covenant promise of life everlasting with our God of grace! 

February 2020 Ministry

February 2020

It’s February – a month set aside to celebrate love  – eros, agape, storge and filial love. These are defined biblically as eros love: romantic love - agape love: God’s love for humanity - storge love: familial love - and filial love: brotherly love. 

Valentine’s Day centers primarily around the romantic love relationships we share with those special people God has placed in our lives, but I assert that this holiday is also a good time to acknowledge ALL of our loving relationships. This time of the year, and in particular, Valentine’s Day, is also a time of the year when, based on the Let’s Strengthen Marriage organization, we are reminded of the importance of healthy, loving and intact marriages and families. 

Founded in 2010, Let’s Strengthen Marriage established National Marriage Week USA, (in 2020 it is set for February 7th through 14th) which seeks to mobilize individuals, organizations, and businesses in a common purpose to strengthen marriage in communities and convey what social science clearly tells us: marriage leads to greater wealth, health, longevity and happiness. To the question: “Why does marriage matter?” several answers are shared in the organization’s online website from a practical, secular perspective: 

"...We should provide the facts about the importance of marriage as a matter of child welfare and economic aspiration. As a society, we have launched highly effective public education campaigns on much less momentous issues, from smoking to recycling... For now, the decline of marriage is our most ignored national crisis..." -- TIME Magazine.

"The Brookings Institution says that if we had the marriage rate today that we had in 1970, there would be a 25 percent drop in poverty. The Heritage Foundation says that marriage drops the probability of a child living in poverty by 82 percent.” -- FoxNews 

"National Marriage Week presents a chance to focus on rebuilding a culture of marriage for this generation." -- NEWSWEEK magazine.

In truth, while these are valid and important reasons to guard, protect and cherish the gift of marriage, as Christ followers, we are also called to a biblical standard of the value of marriage. 

Supporting the Christ-centered perspective, we are given wisdom from the Word of God of how we are to ‘hold’ marriage and value family based on God’s design and intent for marriage. As a matter of fact, God uses the marriage relationship as a metaphor to speak of the relationship He wants with humanity, as we were created in His image. In the Book of Ephesians, chapter 5, Paul the Apostle wrote to the Church of Ephesus, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church”

In his book, Sacred Marriage: What if God designed Marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy, Gary Thomas states, “Isaiah uses marital imagery to stress how God rejoices in His people: “As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.” (Is. 62:5b). We live in a world where many people are too busy or too preoccupied to notice us. But God delights in us. We make His supernatural heart skip a beat!” 

Yes, love is an amazing gift of God to His people! – It is certainly something worthy of our celebration and esteem. As you consider those special relationships God has placed in your life that provide love – especially married love and family love, it is our hope that you will pause and offer some acknowledgement and thanksgiving to One Who is the Creator and provider of love for all of us. 

May the blessings of God’s love be with you this Valentine’s Day – and always!. . .And have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

January 2020 Newsletter

January 2020

At this time of the year, the most logical message for this newsletter would be to write something uplifting, encouraging and hopeful about the New Year, 2020! . . .But, I don’t think it’s possible to look ahead without also looking back and noticing how we have progressed: what went well, what didn’t go so well, what we’ve learned and what we have discovered we still need to learn. 

One thing that has become very clear to all connected with A Future and a Hope Counseling Ministry is that we have been blessed in 2019! – From the move-in to the new building in April to the opportunities we have had to connect with the local community we serve, we are humbled at what God has done in and through our work alongside Him and one another this past year.  

We have been humbled to have received many referrals from those we have helped in the past. We have seen God at work in many situations, where, because of His healing touch, there has been healing, restoration of relationships and victory in Christ for the brokenness that plagues us all in this life.

We have been amazed at the generosity of many who have supported this work through their prayers, volunteer efforts and financial support. We have marveled at the talents shared to help us settle in our new facility. We are blessed to have welcomed two new Board members to the Board of Directors – John Duhon and Chris Bates. We have been blessed with the addition of a new Executive Assistant – Ana Gonzalez – and we look forward to getting to know these new team members better and to our shared journey of ministry together. (Check out our website for pictures and bios of our new team members at: afutureandahopeministries.com)

We were surprised and honored to have been recognized by Harris County Precinct 4 Commissioner, R. Jack Cagle, for the contributions A Future and a Hope Counseling Ministry is making to the community as we were invited to Commissioner’s Court, where a Resolution was read to the gathered Commissioners, signed and presented to us!  – And there are many more blessings, too numerous to mention, that God has provided this past year. 

So what didn’t go so well? . . .There were a few “hiccups” as we have been settling into our new facility: Trying to learn a new phone system, issues with the security cameras, false security alarms going off in the middle of the night, discovering that 11-foot ceilings, while lovely, make it difficult to operate the built-in attic ladder. ..And yet, all of these issues pale in light of the numerous blessings we have received.  

And what have we learned? We have learned that in all the twists and turns – the good, the bad and the challenges of this ministry in 2019, God has been with us! He has loved us, guided us, provided for us and blessed us. We have learned that we can, indeed, be still before Him and trust and believe that He is God and we are not. We have learned that no matter what happens, we are His and He will bring us victoriously to the other side of our challenges. We have had it re-confirmed for us, that this is, after all, His ministry: we are workers in His ministry, instruments in His hands, as He ministers to His people through our efforts. 

What have we discovered that we still need to learn? Well, it’s a lesson we have had before us since the beginning of this call to service – and we believe that God will keep this before His people as it is an important lesson to learn. In the frailty of our human nature, we still need to learn how to set aside our own agendas, as we tend to ask God to come and help us. We need to, instead, learn to seek to notice where He is at work and learn how we may join Him in His work. It is in this surrender to His leading us in life, that we are truly blessed – now, and in all our New Years! We pray that you will notice where God is at work in your life and decide to join Him!

December 2019 Newsletter

December 2019

Is it just me, or are you also feeling that time is passing at a breakneck speed?  I don’t know about you, but, to me, It just doesn’t seem possible that the calendar has already advanced to that time of the year where we are looking at our celebrations of the Christmas holiday, the end of another calendar year, and plans for the upcoming year! As I speak to others, I don’t think I am alone in my thoughts about this. From my own perspectve, I think it is a reflection of the busyness of our lives in the twenty-first century culture we live in. Life just keeps happening, and because of our over-scheduled, over-committed, over-the-top busyness, we sometimes can miss things – and forget to pause, relax and enjoy the blessings. 

The Christmas season holds many opportunities for drawing closer to God, because of the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ. It’s also a time to revel in the warmth of the gift of family and friends – and the Body of Christ, as this is another special gift from our loving heavenly Father. Sadly, it can also be a time of stress – because of the busyness – but also because of the sorrow and pain of missing some of those loved ones who had gone on to their final reward. 

Some of the stress relievers that can make a HUGE difference in how we can enjoy what God has given us are outlined here. In truth, according to the American Psychological Association, somewhere in the neighborhood 69 – 70% of People experience stress during the Christmas and New Year holidays – in spite of all the potential for joy and good cheer!

START WITH PRAYER AND REST

Of course no times in our daily lives are perfect – and imperfections seem to magnify during the holidays. Yet we have at our disposal the gift of taking everything to God in prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving. You may recognize that that comes from the Book of Philippians because it does! That is, by the way, another tip to de-stress: Draw closer to God through the blessing of His Words to us for guidance and direction in the Bible. This same passage from Philippians, which can be found in Chapter 4, verses 4 through 7, tells us to be anxious for nothing. 

PLAN YOUR WORK & WORK YOUR PLAN

It may be a little late for this year’s Christmas shopping, as the merry month of December is already upon us – but there is still time to make plans for many of the other things that can cause stress. For instance, how you will celebrate, where you will worship (and at what time), what you and your loved ones would like to eat for your celebration, at who’s home you will gather to celebrate and when gifts will be shared. These are minor elements of the Christmas holiday, but left unplanned and communicated, can cause great stress. Developing a plan and sticking to it, can be just the right answer for dealing with that stress.

DON’T FORGET SELF-CARE

Many of us can get so caught up in doing for others during the Christmas holiday. That we forget to care for ourselves. Being aware that “one more Christmas Cookie” or laying on the couch watching our favorite Christmas movie for the umpteenth time, may be enjoyable the short time, but there is much more to be gained by going on a brisk walk, a run or a bike ride – that also serves as a good stress reliever. Learning to say no and drawing boundaries when you’re tired is another form of self-care. 

PUT CHRIST IN HIS PLACE – FIRST PLACE!

The saying goes, that “Jesus is the reason for the season.” I know it sounds a bit cliché, and there is a GREAT blessings contained in that saying – because it’s true! “For God so loved the World that He sent His only begotten Son. . .” is reason enough to celebrate – and enjoy a stress-free Christmas!

From all of us at A Future and a Hope Counseling Ministry, to all of you, MERRY CHRISTMAS – And a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

November 2019 Newsletter

November 2019

Family! – What an amazing gift we have been given in our families. Families come in many different of sizes and formats – all designed to offer us love, safe harbor, warmth and peace in a world that can seem cold, indifferent and, at times, even unsafe. 

This past week has been especially challenging for my family. -- My mother fell for the umpteenth time and ended up in the hospital – again! Now, it may seem like I’m complaining – and perhaps I am . . just a little! But my angst is not with her, as much as it it is about the challenges we all face as we get older and life becomes even more of a struggle at a time when we are less able to cope with it all. 

. . .And then, like a sweet melody, we are reminded of the gift of family! God gave us to one another in family – our birth families and our family of faith – so that we may know that we are not alone in our struggles. He gave us one another to love – as we reflect His love one to another. 

In my challenges this week, God showed up in amazing ways to provide just what I needed most to experience victory over the struggles. He showed up in the form of my wonderful husband, my sister, daughter and son-in-law, teenage grandchildren, the compassionate medical professionals and the many of my family of faith who lifted our concerns and challenges in prayer to He Who is the source of relief, comfort and joy – even in the midst of the struggles of this life. All of this is God’s way of telling us . . reminding us. . .that we are not alone. That He is with us. That He loves us and loves those who we love. That He loves our families. 

I cannot tell you how this comforted me this past week – and how it continues to provide hope that He will bring us thought this new challenge. And what a precious reminder it has been that family is a gift and that God, as He told us through Moses’ words to Joshua in Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”— He will NOT EVER leave us!  He said it. I believe it. And that settles it! 

You see, friends, it has been my experience, that God keeps His word to us. He does not break the promises He makes to us. What this means for us is that no matter how difficult life can get – and, trust me, it can be difficult – and seem hopeless – and like no one cares or hears our cries for help! In all of this, there is God, Who loves us and cares for us, and hears us, and redeems us and delivers us from the most horrendous and most impossible situations life can throw at us. 

These promises are manifest in the love He gives us in the covenant relationships He has blessed us with in this life. For most of us, that is in family. For some, it is in friends or church family. In whatever form you experience and receive God’s love and comfort – peace and joy, we pray that you will be inspired to celebrate this gift, as you give thanks for the many ways that God has blessed you with those beautiful reflections of His love as we enter the season designed to give us an opportunity acknowledge our gifts of love, companionship, peace and joy. 

We pray you will take some time to notice and receive the blessings that are all around you everyday. Admittedly, it can sometimes require paying very close attention see them – but they’re there! I promise!...but more important, God promises!

And as you notice God at work, blessing you, we pray that you will pause to give Him thanks for the love He provides for you in the circumstances of your life – and in the love reflected in the people in your life!  

. . .And have a blessed and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

In His love and to His glory!

October 2019 Newsletter

October 2019

Have you ever stopped to consider the absolute blessing we have been given in the gift of family? – Now, I know that there are families of many variations. There are traditional families, nuclear families, extended families, single-parent families, reconstituted families, step families, grandparent families and childless families, and that doesn’t even include the ‘family of believers!’ You may find that somewhat interesting – or you may know some of these family types that exist in our 21st century American culture. 

According to some of the references I consulted, family structure in the United States has transformed significantly in recent years. The traditional family structure in the United States is considered a family support system involving two married individuals providing care and stability for their biological offspring. However, this two-parent, nuclear family has become less prevalent, and alternative family forms have become more common. The family is created at birth and establishes ties across generations. Those generations, the extended family of aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins, can hold significant emotional and economic roles for the nuclear family. 

Family is a group of individuals, with similar emotional, moral and spiritual values that are bound together by a common love of one another, providing support and nurture to one another. Using that definition, families are seen in the many forms mentioned above. In Acts 3:25, we are told, “You are the sons of the prophets and of the covenant that God made with your fathers, saying to Abraham, ‘And in your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed.’” The blessing spoken of here is in the very sense of belonging that is part of the essential human needs we all experience. 

Love and belonging is that sense of peace we have as we feel “gotten” and “accepted” for who we are – and that is the way we are connected to our God. Because of His love for us, as His children, God has given us the blessing of covenant community known as “family.” It is one of the sources of strength that carries us through the challenges of this life, which can serve to rob us of the peace and joy that has always been God’s plan for His people. 

In her book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown says, “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” – But how do we love and accept who we are? What we have seen in our work with the people we minister to at A Future and a Hope Counseling, it begins with a clear understanding and acceptance of who God says we are. In order to “live the victorious Christian life you must believe what is already true about you – what God says about you!” (from Neill Anderson in Victory Over the Darkness)

The problem for many of us is that we tend to listen to what the world says about who we are, which is often fueled by the enemy. Anderson goes on to say, “Will you have opposition to believing this truth? Of course! The father of lies (see John 8:44) has deceived the whole world (see Rev. 12:9), and he accuses the brethren day and night (see 12:10). If that isn’t enough, others will put you down. We have to keep reminding ourselves of these positional truths.” 

. . .So, what is the remedy to overcome the forces all around us that can interfere with what God has planned for us? First, it’s knowing God – not just knowing about God, but knowing God on a personal level – and who He says we are. Family, in all its forms, is one of means available to keep a clear and honest perspective and being able to see ourselves as God sees us. 

In traveling to Switzerland, we met many people from many cultures and ethnicity, as Switzerland is bordered by France, Italy, Germany, Austria and Liechtenstein, not to mention the travelers, like us, from other cultures. The common thread was in the areas where we are ‘family’ in our shared common values and beliefs. In attending worship while in Zermatt, Switzerland, there were no barriers to the covenant connection we share as children of God. 

We pray you experience the joy of the families God has given to you, and receive His blessings.  It is His plan for His family of believers!

September 2019 Newsletter

September 2019

I don’t know about you, but I can hardly believe that summer is now officially over – and we know this because school is back in session! – Where does the time go?! . . .And, make no mistake, friends, time continues to march on. I think what’s important in this life is what we do with the time we have been given. . . So, how did you spend you summertime? Was it eventful? Noteworthy? Prosperous? Educational? Relationship-enhancing? A time of spiritual and emotional growth? – However you spent your summertime, I pray it was worth what it cost you. Because it cost you one of the most valuable resources we have been given – a resource we can never get back – namely, time!

Personally, I don’t like summer. Now, it’s not because I don’t appreciate a time to slow down and take a break from the routine of daily life. It’s just that I am one of those strange individuals who thrives on routine, and stepping out of routine somehow disorients me.  In truth, I have no choice about any of this. Life in our 21st-century American culture is set up in such a way that there are generally nine months of work and/or school and three months of summer for rest and relaxation, with a few extra weeks around the holidays. . .And no one asked me if I liked it or not. So, I am obligated to get in-step with the rest of the world. 

. . .And now it’s over! People are back from their vacations and ‘normal’ routines are once again resumed. I love it! I can find people at their work places or on their school schedules Monday through Friday! I can now count on things going pretty much along in an orderly fashion most of the time. 

But, I have to ask myself; Is this God’s plan for His people? Did Jesus stick to a routine in His daily life – or was He open and available to whatever needed His attention? If I’m honest with myself, I must admit that the latter is true. It is God’s plan that we would rest and renew - as we read in Scripture - as He Himself rested from His labors on the seventh day of His Creation story.  

God speaks to us of the importance of rest in may places of the Bible. In 2 Corinthians 4:16, we are given a description of the contrast between Paul’s life of suffering in the present evil of the age around him (his outer self) and the moral and spiritual transformation of his life into the image of God (his inner self), it says, “. . .So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.” This becomes an effective affirmation of how God made us as human beings that need rest, renewal and refreshment from the struggles of this life, which as it turns out, is a good argument for the practice of stepping away from the grind of our daily routines. We actually honor God when we seize the opportunity to be renewed in strength, energy and passion for being prepared, equipped and ready for the Kingdom work that God sets before us. 

The upcoming season of the year – the fall and winter months– is our time to turn our efforts and attention to noticing where God is at work, and then joining Him in that work. It is a time, now that we are rested and renewed, to take stock, to make plans, to watch, to listen and prepare for God’s call to us – and to make the decision to respond in obedience to His call. 

It is a rhythm that seems to work pretty well  for most of us; work, then rest. So, as we enter the busy time of returning to our routines of the discipline of work and school, it is our prayer that you will remember to take the short breaks that this season allows – that you will remember to keep a “Sabbath” day of stepping away from your disciplined life – and allow God to renew your inner self day by day. 

We pray that the ministry of self-care will become a part of your daily routine. Take the safety announcement we hear as we taxi down the runway before take-off: After telling us about all the important things we need to know, including the oxygen mask overhead, they say that if the cabin pressure changes, we are to, “Put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others.” It’s a good metaphor for self-care, an essential part of being equipped and ready!

Blessings and joy as we move to a new season of living into the Kingdom work of service, observing where  God is at work – and then enthusiastically joining Him there!

August 2019 Newsletter

August 2019

Friends – relaxation – refreshment --- vacation! What a joy - and what an absolutely needed part of our routine for healthy, productive living! This past week, we were blessed to be able to experience a short – and much-needed vacation. We went to a favorite location in Tucson, Arizona with some good friends and had a wonderful time. 

On our trip, we mostly relaxed and did things that had no particular value except in that they allowed us to ‘vacate our normal lives’ in favor of some things that we did just for the fun of it. We toured Tombstone – an old-west, historically rich time travel to a day when justice was swift and sometimes not completely just. It was a simpler time of dealing with life in the moment – again, not always the best solution, but always swift and often final. 

We had time to just sit around a pool and have fellowship and fun, sharing good times just relaxing together. And, of course, we ate some great food together and tried new adventures. It was a short and wonderfully enjoyable time. It was certainly ‘quality over quantity’ time spent. 

I was also excited to find a book by Jay Payleitner, titled “What if God Wrote Your To-Do List? … 52 ways to make the most of every day” It is a sequel to his previous book, titled, “What if God Wrote Your Bucket List?” When I saw this book – actually both books on the book shelf – I was fascinated and intrigued. I bought them and immediately began reading. 

Payleitner starts with what seemed to be rudimentary, mundane items on a to-do list. Things like chapter 1: “Make Your Bed” --- So, who doesn’t make their bed? Well, as it turns out, many of us. It reminded me of some of those I have counseled who have shared that they don’t make their beds in the morning. My observation has been that when life seems to be spiraling out of control, making one’s bed – as simple as it may seem – can provide a significant sense of peace and control. Those two things can mean a lot when life can seem so unpeaceful, harsh and out-of-control. Payleitner makes the same point! As a matter of fact, he makes many helpful and wise points. He said, “You were designed, created and placed on this earth for so much more. What you really want to do is stuff that leads to greatness. That is what you’ll find on God’s to-do list for your very near future. . . We can get so wrapped up in the grind of daily life that we forget life is a gift to be unwrapped each and every day.” 

As Paul wrote in Ephesians, chapter 5:15-17, “Be careful, then, how you live – not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” 

I believe that finding balance, peace, joy and love in this life is all part of what God has planned for us. The lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer are a perfect time for beginning that quest for one’s life, in spite of the disruption of routine that summer can serve to create angst for some of us. 

Life can be – and often is – a grind of schedules, appointments, deadlines and obligations. Even for those of us who are working in our passion and in fulfilling roles, we can sometimes lose sight of the blessings that are right before us. That is why slowing down, stepping out of the rigor of our normal patterns of life can be so refreshing – and a perfect time to re-connect with good friends, especially the Good Friend we have in Jesus Christ. 

I once had a spiritual mentor who, out of the blue, told me to “Get out of the fast lane. God’s not in it, so you shouldn’t be either. You are sometimes so destination-focused that you are missing the blessings that are all around you in the present.” . . .And you know what? He was right! As soon as I literally got out of the fast lane of the freeways I drove everyday, I noticed that those big machines that, at one time, were only impediments to me getting to my destination, actually had people in those machines (cars), all trying to do exactly what I was trying to do – have a productive day! 

Our God is with us wherever we go. Our challenge is to slow down enough to notice and have a meaningful encounter Him along the way. Now it’s your turn to let Him write your ‘to-do list’- and be blessed!

In His love and to His glory,

July 2019 Newsletter

July 2019

Freedom – How free are you? . . .And what does that mean, anyway – to be free? Well, I suppose the answer to that depends on what kind or form of freedom one is referring to. You see, there are many forms of freedom. Freedom from pain – to be pain free, as in after an injury or illness that caused physical pain. Then there is freedom from emotional pain, like when we find ourselves in an unhappy relationship, and things change for the better; the relationship heals – and we are, once again, free from emotional pain. Then there is spiritual freedom – or being set free from the lies of this world and entering the truth of God’s love with all the joys and peace that come with that kind of freedom. 

There is also a general meaning to the concept of freedom. In its noun form, it has been defined as the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restrain. In a governmental context, it can mean the absence of subjection to foreign domination or a despotic government – or the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved. 

In the counseling ministry, we often encounter situations where people believe they are enslaved by their circumstances – or by an unhappy relationship. We have also met those who are in the grasp of substance abuse or emotional or personality disorders that can cause them to feel imprisoned and trapped – not free to experience joy – the joy that God intends for His children.     

In truth, the freedom we seek; the freedom that God has planned for us for all eternity is referred to in many places in God’s Word to us. One such example is found in Galatians 5:1. It says, “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” The ‘yoke of slavery’ spoken of here is exactly what we encounter as we observe the pain of some of our clientele in their struggles to be free. 

One such situation has been particularly difficult to watch and deal with. The difficulty was in seeing the pain, and then understanding that the answer is to be found in Christ alone – and finally witnessing the unwillingness of the clients to surrender to God’s plan for their life, choosing instead, to follow their own way of dealing with the brokenness of their circumstances.   

It has been said by one of our counselors – and experienced many times to hold a lot of truth – that we could, by God’s grace, help to heal 100% of the relationships and brokenness we encounter, except for one thing.That thing is Free Will! – While we are aware that God gives us free will for one important reason; so that we may freely choose Him, the challenge of the gift of free will lies in the surrender and humility required to choose God’s will and plan for us, and to not lean on our own understanding. The choice is ours – and sadly, pride can often get in the way for many of us, causing us to choose to go our own way, turning our back on God’s call to trust Him and His plan for us. 

In order that we would have freedom, God paid the ultimate price of sacrificing His own Son, Jesus Christ. Our hope of freedom lies in Christ alone. . .And that freedom was, indeed, not free! That fact alone, is reason enough to place all our trust in God’s plan for us to give us the freedom for which Christ has set us free. We are called to stand firm in confidence that God’s knowledge is supreme – and ours is often flawed by our pride, self-centeredness and greed. 

As we enter the season of the year when we celebrate the freedom that was hard-won for us by the founding fathers of this great nation, there are some important connections to God’s Word to us relative to freedom. The freedom we enjoy as a nation, was also hard-won by the blood, sweat and tears of the many who sacrificed for our sake and for the freedom God has given us. 

Our prayer for you as you celebrate Independence Day, is that you remember that your independence is a precious gift that is primarily based on your dependence on the One Who gave it all for us!

Happy summer – and a blessed celebration of your freedom in Christ!

In His love and to His glory,

June 2019 Newsletter

June 2019

Communication is such a blessing – and it can also be a HUGE challenge, when it fails to convey our sentiments and thoughts effectively. And isn’t that what seems to happen a great deal of the time? – Actually, no – that is not what happens a great deal of the time. It’s just that those times when we have relationship discord because of missed communication, it can have a big (and dramatic!) impact on us – and can cause issues that can even be destructive in relationships.  

Many of these unhappy and destructive relationship issues that are presented in the counseling scenarios we encounter can be tracked directly to poor – or even non-existent - communication skills. Good communication is that important to healthy and committed relationships. In particular, relationships between family members, romantic couples in committed relationships and married couples, communication that is clear, concise, respectful, emphatic, assertive, loving and uplifting can go a long way in enhancing the relationships God wants for us. But what does good communication look – and sound – like? 

We have learned that in communicating something that is sensitive, something that may be uncomfortable to say or to hear can often be fraught with pitfalls. One of the first – and most important – steps in good communication is a prayerful self-check, asking God to reveal what is motivating the need to communicate with a loved one. In other words, what are the emotions that one is feeling around the issue to be discussed. This is important, as it can assist one to focus on recognizing and owning their part in what needs to be discussed. We also have come to realize that good communication that begins with prayerful reflection of one’s emotions – then a willingness to be vulnerable by sharing what is on one’s heart first – can lead to some of the best and most heartfelt communication even of sensitive issues. 

Being willing to also own one’s part in whatever is going on – the good, the bad, and the unhappy components of relationship discord – is very helpful in disarming a potentially volatile situation. Owning our part in whatever is going on is done by the use of “I” statements: “I feel,” “I think,” “I need,” “I want” may seem self-centered, but in truth, using the pronoun “I” communicates to the listener that we are owning and taking responsibility for our actions, feelings, and contributions to whatever in going on, especially if it is discordant. This goes a long way in helping the listener to not feel blamed and criticized – which never goes down easy and almost always yields unwanted results. 

On the other hand, use of the pronoun “you,” should only be done in an uplifting or neutral way. The danger of use of the pronoun “you” can –and often does – come across as an accusation, with the potential of making the listener feel attacked. This never ends well in communication with loved ones.  

The other important part of healthy communication is on the listening side. This is the part when the listener reflects back what he or she heard. It begins with something like, “I heard you say…” or “I understand that you mean…”  This is a way of checking out with the speaker and establishing clarity. 

Before continuing with sensitive communication, it is important to establish agreement and a clear understanding of what is actually being said. Once this is established, exercising care to continue to own one’s feelings, thoughts, wants, needs and actions will go a long way in helping both to feel safe and more willing to communicate, from the heart, what is so for them. 

This description of healthy, assertive communication and active listening, is not a complete communication of the process – limited by the constraints we have for this communication in this format. It is our hope that it provides an opportunity for interest and a commitment to seek more information on this important topic. 

With the summer months now upon us and for many of us, a break from our routines, this may be a good time to explore this topic more thoroughly. We are always here and ready to provide more insight. Just ask us –And have a safe and blessed summer!

In His love and to His glory,

May 2019 Newsletter

May 2019

Change. Why is it so hard to change? Why do we resist change? What does the process of change look like and how will we know when we have completed the transition of change – from one way of being or doing to another? 

It has been said that human beings are ‘creatures of habit,’ and as such, change can – and often does – cause a lot stress as the changes are made a part of our new life and routine. It seems that everything in us seeks the familiar. Scientifically speaking, we form habits as a way of holding onto the familiar – but more, we form habits as a function of our brain. Neurons, or brain cells, communicate with each other at a gap, called the synapse. One neuron releases chemicals – neurotransmitters – into the synaptic space, where it is picked up by the receptors of the next neuron. These interconnected neurons become circuits that underlie and form our habits. 

Well, that is probably much more of a neurobiology lesson than any of us needed – but it makes an important point, as we consider change and how it impacts our lives. In truth, even good and positive change is not without its challenges. 

Even the blessings of new beginnings – and endings – can overwhelm us if we allow it to, as we struggle with a lack of understanding of what our psyche is dealing with.  

At A Future and a Hope Ministries we have been abundantly blessed and challenged by new beginnings. The blessings come in the form of the many who have given so lovingly of their time, talents and treasures to fulfill God’s plan for this ministry. 

On April 3, 2019, the movers showed up – two of them – one to move the furniture packed up and stored all over the Windwood campus for the past 3 years. And one arranged by a supporter of the ministry, who had picked up and stored a large amount of furniture that was donated indirectly when a major corporation moved out of their facility and left their furniture behind, free for the taking!

To say that we were excited with this blessing of a new facility, would be an understatement. . . And, after many long days and nights of putting things away and figuring out how and where to get everything set up to be fully operational to see clients again,  God gave us the energy and strength and many helpful hands to get it all done!

On the Saturday before Easter, more blessings! Some of the good men of the Man 2 Man Ministry and the “Weed Wackers” who have been helping to keep the undergrowth of the beautiful forest Windwood is located on, trimmed and lovely, came out to begin the much-needed landscaping for the new counseling center grounds!

The care and generosity demonstrated was truly reflective of God’s love for us -- and their efforts have blessed the ministry and all who work and are cared for at the new counseling center facility!

…And by 11:30 AM, a beautiful new lawn!

Change?  It is all part of God’s plan and love for us. Another word for it is transformation! We are transformed by His love – a love that also saved us! 

Blessings of the changes and newness of this Spring Season!

April 2019 Newsletter

April 2019

This picture was taken on September 24, 2018 – the day the building project for the new counseling building began. This was how the electricity, water and fiber optic cable were brought, by burrowing under the parking lot 430 feet, to the site of the new building. It was a first, “baby-step,” and the promise of better things to come. It was an exciting prospect for the counseling team! 

     Along the way, we had some very un-cooperative weather, and things were slowed down considerably. Our God is good and faithful – and we have never forgotten that this is, after all, His ministry! So it made sense to us that he is – and always has been – in control of it all! 

. . .And, in no time (well, actually six months), we had a beautiful new building and began to plan our move to the new facility, to continue the work God has placed before us! But is that all there was to it? Of course not! --- Along the way, there were many turns that this project took – and God was with us every step of the way. . . Encouraging and faithful, continuing to provide hope when things didn’t go as planned. This next picture was taken on November 23, 2018, as the frame for the foundation was built – and once more, we were blessed as we waited on God to bring our dream to completion – and we learned to trust. 

Then the details of all that God had planned began to come to fruition  – and A Future and a Hope Ministries’ new home was open for a tour on “Celebration Sunday” with the counseling team on-hand to welcome our family of faith to see what God is building for His ministry of ‘Hope and Healing’ at Windwood Church. 

The first ‘tour’ of the new building, (though not quite complete), on Celebration Sunday, occurred on March 24th. We were blessed to have many of the Windwood family come and offer their love and warmth to further bless and encourage the counseling team and all who will come, seeking healing and the wholeness of life God has planned for His people. 

And as we wait for the day of our move-in, which is now scheduled for April 1st, we continue to trust in God’s love and provision. . .And isn’t that what we are called to do in all areas of our lives?

Taken on March 26th, all exterior work done!

Psalm 31:14, reminds us of the answer to that question. It says, “But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.””

As we wait in grateful anticipation of what God will do, we are blessed to know and trust that He walks with us and strengthens us to walk alongside Him and His people. We are blessed to be instruments in His hands – and grateful to each one of you for answering God’s call to join Him, along with us, in His work. 

Blessings and joy,

March 2019 Newsletter

March 2019

Recently, my husband, Tom, and I attended a fundraising event for Star of Hope, as the guests of some of our friends. It was a wonderful evening with testimonials of some of the people who have been helped by this important ministry in our community. It inspired many of us in attendance to take out our checkbooks to help support this work. God is all about doing some amazing healing through the efforts of the dedicated workers of Star of Hope. All of this was a powerful reminder to me about the need to go where God leads us and to do what He puts on our hearts to do in the Kingdom work we are all called to during our journey through this life, on our way to our eternal reward.

Earlier in the same week, I was blessed to hear a local businessman give his testimony at a luncheon, telling of how God had impacted his life in some truly remarkable ways, sharing how his business mission statement begins with a commitment to “Honor God in All We Do.” I was also, in the same week, present at a Prayer Breakfast, and heard from some of our local politicians about how God is inspiring their governmental leadership to cause them to desire to glorify Him, as they remain obedient to His call, even in the face of some strong opposition.

The point is that, even though the culture in which we live can seem somewhat out of step with God’s will and God’s plans for us, there are still some people and some places where His directives to us are, indeed, getting through! There are some among us who are listening – and responding in obedience. The beauty of what comes from this obedience is something to behold! Lives are changed, blessings abound, God’s people get healed and God is glorified.

It seems that the Creator of the universe delights in blessing us – in healing our brokenness. In the call we have answered at A Future and a Hope Ministries, we see, first hand, where God is at work, as He heals and restores lives that may have once seemed beyond hope.

As we prepare to make a critical “next step,” moving into the new counseling facility that God – through Windwood’s love and generosity – is building for us, it gives us great reason to celebrate and be encouraged. We are encouraged to keep moving forward to work alongside Him and one another in the healing process of those who come, seeking the peace, joy and wholeness God has always planned for each one of us.

As we continue this work, it has become apparent that we cannot do this alone. First and foremost, we need God’s help and encouragement, grace, and blessings. We need the love and support of our family of faith. – And we need partners, to come alongside us, providing the opportunity to continue to deliver the care and hope and healing that are essential to that life God has planned for His people. To that end, we are busy putting the final planning details on our Second Annual AFAH Golf Tournament! This year we will hold this event at the beautiful High Meadow Ranch Golf Club on May 13, 2019, with a start time of 8:30 AM!

High Meadow Golf Club House

In particular, we are looking for sponsor-partners and individuals and teams to sign up to play, enjoy fellowship, all the while supporting this important work God is doing in our community.

His love is all around us – Our challenge to help make us ready to receive the joy and peace of this life, is to notice His many blessings of love – even in our struggles and the pain that this life can often bring us.

Friends, have hope and trust in the Love that saves us and provides for us – this spring season, and always!

. . . And have a blessed Easter and spring!

Blessings and joy,